14! Getting there...

"Lost all five teeth, gained four strong and bright ones, in addition to all the amazing things you accomplished in your last year, brought me more joy than anything I could have ever imagined... Sigh! Hasn't your love for LEGO grown stronger? I have seen you develop those UNO skills, play those magnet games, and look for far-away lands and possibilities on a globe.

 

I wrote this when you turned seven, and woah! Just like that, you are fourteen today. Ready to rock ninth grade this year... all so crazy for 3,000+ piece LEGOs and video games... You have turned into a joyful, complex, and kind young girl. And while I know that your PAPA and I have had an influence, what you have become is your own spark!

 

Ilvikaa, when you sleep and curl up into a ball by our side on some nights, I see the same bundle that was handed to me in 2011—in a flash, so young and yet not! There were so many of us going crazy over you! We were all "aww-ing" and "ooh-ing" over your joyous little cherubic face. From a balmy spring morning in India to here—across the globe... you have been with us on journeys that have only taught us better.

 

In these fourteen years, I have become a better person with you. As a woman, as a daughter, and as a mom—I keep reminiscing about all the things I missed learning when I was growing up. At times, I get intimidated when you are so determined, and things are not going my way. But hey... I have seen this world 30 times more than you have—you will eventually realize that I was right all along. Your independence, the persistence to not “do as you’re told,” but rather to do as you feel, often overwhelms me. Your little head—so definite about what you need—uff! I want order and control, and you are so far from that. I see that you like to make your own errors. The world is changing so fast, and I want to protect you.

 

Finally, I didn’t know what I know now. It seems like you have started to need me less now... and it's because your internal compass is never off. You came into this world a whole, complete, perfect person—not looking for someone to give you direction but rather for someone to bear witness to your fullest expression. I see that now. Thank you for being patient with me.

 

Now that you will understand, I want to share that when I turned fourteen, it was years ago, and it was a boring year. Honestly, I don't have any key memories to pinpoint my experiences, discoveries, or anything remotely tangible—just distant, hazy memories bundled away in time. But you are in a magical spot. Given the life expectancy these days, you have at least 80 more years ahead of you, and you have 14 gone by that you do not remember—much of it! So, make the best of the times to come. The future is wide open. You will often hear us, and other elders say, "live life to the fullest today—live in the moment." Youth shouldn’t be taken lightly, and we speak from a place of relevance and, at times, regret. There is newness and potential wrapped up in every experience for you, so just go ahead and live it!

Your love for music, Legos, math, and politics will bring you many experiences. You’ll discover fashion and so much more! Find your tribe—connect with them. Stay true to your passions and truthful to your friends. Listen to connect, not react. Use this as a “Go Time,” love, with your heart open, and I will be there to give you a ride back home!

 

As I watch you bloom every year into this strong headed, extraordinarily independent, brave, curious, and outspoken young girl, I couldn’t be prouder of who you are. When I saw those qualities in you while you were younger, I was sure of how they would serve you in the future. When people make comments about teens like "just wait..." or "Good luck, she’s a teen..." and perceive teens as moody or catty, I wish to tell them that these are BIG FEELINGS, and they will be part of how you shape up in the future. On days when you dislike us, hate the system, or get jittery about squabbles at school, I want to remind you that all this is part of growing up—just that, I need to be reminded of it more often!

Always remember, there is only one person that needs an answer from you, and that is—YOU! Stay truthful to yourself. Never apologize for being yourself. Becoming or unbecoming—who you are—is meant to be! Trust your inner gut and take a leap. Neither your PAPA nor I grew up in a day, so experience your growth on your own terms.
It will get exhilarating, lonely, amazing, and heartbreaking... at different times and all at the same time too; but riding those waves will get you far!

 

Most things may seem significant now; however, it is all just fleeting! They will serve their purposes in time and on occasion, but that is the nature of time, isn’t it? Slow for us to savor, and fast enough to appreciate its agility and sacredness. Witnessing—together.

This year marks yet another chapter of great things to come; it’s as if we are all on the cusp of a not-so-distant future. I am not going to give you any advice—not anything grandiose, and no list of pointers. Remember, neither my love for you is based on how you behave, how clean your room is, nor do I care if you are an 'A' student or win competitions. My only promise is to stand by you, always! Unwavering. Constant. Like the sun."