Sita and her Plight....

Sita has always intrigued me. She’s quite a standalone. She’s the one woman who the janta hasn’t sort of figured out quite. Through the entire Ramayana story, of which I’ve read no ‘original’, all I keep realising is that there’s something about Sita. She eludes specific characterisation, lending herself only to interpretations of which there are a zillion. She’s probably the only character among all our ‘gods’ in whom we see what we want to. It’s our reaction to, our interpretation of Sita’s life that truly sets her value, and our beliefs. Not certain why, but I’ve always been miffed at suggestions of her being a doormat, of being helpless, of her not having a say. There’s something about the viewpoint that don’t seem right. I have my own over-simplistic, interpretations of the major points in the lady’s life. I still flounder at the abandonment, though, when she’s sent off to the forest although she’s pregnant. For starters, her joining Rama on his punishment posting. It’s mostly spoken of as sacrifice. Sita ‘gave up’ her royal lifestyle to go with hubby. But look at the choice the woman had: she could either go with handsome hubby or stay back with three mothers-in-law and a hen-pecked dad-in-law. Not much choice there, if you ask me. Any girl in her right mind would go with hubby, discomfort be damned. And she finally had cool dude bro-in-law Lakshmana tag along as well who respected her no end. What could be better? You always need an assistant for sundry work. Hubbies don’t oblige often, only lip-sync. Then the Lakshmana-rekha. Ooh, the line that was crossed, which led to her kidnapping by a man besotted. Yet, nothing happened. Ravana was scared of the curse that if he dared molest another woman, his tenner would splinter. Capital punishment, no less: quite a deterrent that if it was what kept Ravana away. But surely he knew that when he was plotting? Kidnapping Sita was a rather elaborate plan. He yanked her all the way to his kingdom and then got cold feet worrying about his heads? I find the argument a tad insufficient. What I would like to believe, instead, is that Ravana was ultimately kept away from Sita not by any male-drawn limits or codes, but by Sita herself. There was something about Sita. What it was every woman might want to figure out. It was Sita’s own drawn ‘rekha’ that Ravana didn’t dare cross. Learned he may have been, great ‘love’ --- for want of a better word --- he may have had, but rakshasa he was and he had kidnapped her for a purpose. Which he didn’t complete. Why? What kept him away? What was that quality in Sita? To me, men can keep drawing lines crisscrossing women’s lives till they do themselves to exhaustion, but when it comes to crunch, women draw their own lines, which no Ravana dare step over. In fact, Sita kept drawing lines for herself throughout her life. So much and no more. Meghnad Desai makes a damn neat point in a recent book, In Search of Sita by Malashri Lal and Namita Gokhale. In commonsensical reasoning, referring to a footnote in his Gujarati translation of Ramayana, he writes that Rama marries at age 16 and lives 12 years after that in King Dasharatha’s palace. At 28, he goes into exile for 14 years to return when he is 42 years. “If this is true, then during the twelve years of marriage …and thirteen years of exile…Rama and Sita have no children and Sita becomes a mother in her late thirties. This implies that she is at least in control of her reproductive cycle, as she manages to delay her child-bearing until her husband is secure on a throne.” How cool is that? Alright, to the agni-pareeksha. Here I go with what cartoonist Nina Paley says: that it was demonstration of a woman’s deep grief. Rama had his compulsions, they say, but really, what true-blue independent queen would endure such ridicule? So, Sita snapped, was tired, angry and got a fire crackling in seconds to show she meant business. That kind of wild anger and hurt is completely understandable. Heart-breaking grief that after all that, this. At the same time, you have to spare Rama a thought. He may have snapped too. He was no god at the time, right? He was a human king. So he could surely snap? He probably thought, for this silly woman’s silly desire, I’ve had the most harrowing time on earth. Using ‘citizens gossip’ to explain his directive is just shooting off the hapless citizens’ shoulders. He wanted to hurt her, probably, real bad. And he did. She shot back. It’s been known to happen. Zooksh, zoom, that kinda thing. What line did Sita draw at the abandonment? I’ve told myself maybe Rama and Sita had a good chat and figured the city’s no place for kids, pollution and all, but it don’t ring true. It equally doesn’t ring true that Rama actually got manipulated into believing Sita had a soft spot for her kidnapper. I don’t know if the equivalent of Stockholm syndrome existed in those days. Haven’t figured that out. It’s not as if they split. They simply separated. And stayed so. That’s saying something grand about Sita’s freedom alright. And also that single mothers can well manage on their own. Rama ended up a miserable wreck, and Sita, when wounded again, simply said enough and went back home into the earth. Still figuring that out. Maybe I’m too Bollywood-conditioned into wanting endless happy endings. More when I’ve cracked it. Meanwhile, for Sita seekers, go find her. And send across some thoughts. Nothing like figuring out what Sita was all about.

Mo' ...mommy!

She sleeps beside me with her pouted lips and hands clasped into one another tucked in her pink-lace blankee. She has turned all of four months.
Exactly about a year back, it all began with a pink line that appeared in the test. They say- it is HCG hormone but for me that line meant Family. An instant message to my dear husband reciprocated with a bunch of White lilies at the doorstep - an appointment fixed with OB&G ; Lo and behold – we are going to have a baby! I wanted to tell the whole world the moment I found out, but again they say according to a general belief that 12-14 weeks is the ideal time to disclose!

My first visit to the OB&G was very exciting… I was beaming and grinning ear-to-ear…. She said it is 4 weeks. S*** What about the cocktails I gobbled down over the weekend?? Well, she said all is well until I dont have any more in future.

Then came GENEY…
First ultrasound was exciting and the sonologist loser…. Am sure she would have had fight with her husband that morning and to top it . She was rude to me and I made sure that she felt sorry for it… (hmmph) nobody gets rude to me*
Well .… it was a single cell with a heartbeat of almost 172 per minute. It was surreal – I had always imagined something like this and here it was. The report said “single live fetus of 4 weeks” I had my fingers crossed to read 2 live fetuses … but it was not… Yes, I was wishing for twins – BADLY!
I wasn't feeling very good about addressing it so clinical as this. We named it as Geney- made of our genes and we started addressing the lil’ one as Baby Geney , then onwards!

As my OB&G would put – your pregnancy is generally how you want to make it , there are some things that are under your control and most importantly positive thinking and eating healthy would do the trick. I followed to the T. Pregnancy was a whole gamut of experiences, sour pukes and stretchable pants, always possessed by fatigue and fat , waiting for movements in bump to incontinence there was something new that was happening to us every single day – I mention us because the one on receiving end was my dear Prad. My mood swings were on an all time high… actually they weren’t swings anymore they were hormones rocking! Weepy mornings, angry dinners to horribly cranky outings – Oh yes! he braved them all.

Monthly checkups were interesting and full of anxiety. The bump was growing and Geney first moved on on Diwali. I think over joyous is the word. Before I could realize I was in my last trimester, winter was over! Geney would respond with stronger kicks to daddy’s songs and would nudge during my official meetings. I think this post would be incomplete without the mention my dear office colleagues and my reporting manager. I wouldn't have been a happy Ms.Blimpy and happier mom to Geney without them!

My Godh Bharai- the Indian Baby Shower ceremony at 28weeks is very close to my heart. Hosted by my parents and well attended by my near and dear ones it made me feel special and so loved all at the same time!
The time was drawing closer, very amusingly during one of our antenatal classes it was discussed that since my due date is close to 2011 cricket World Cup finals- there is a chance that I have a baby on the same day. And there I was - squirming in labor, timing my contractions on the D-day!

At 11:50AM Geney arrived , she was small, wide awake and looked a little confused to me.. she lay on my stomach for a while before my OB&G picked up the fragile thing in her gloved hands, called Prad to come up and cut the umbilical cord. There was our Geney, she had started her journey 40 weeks 20 hrs back in to our arms! I called her ILVIKAA , she was surrounded by incessant flashes and video cams like a celebrity; thanks to my sister. My mother entered the recovery room with her eyes welled up. I could see my last 29 years of life in her eyes. She whispered into my ears, ‘ You are a winner my child!’