This pain is not mine but it bothers me!

The events of the last couple of weeks have shaken me and everyone that I speak to. I live in a country where a victim is not defined by injuries, agony, and state of finding but religion, social class and baggage that claimed death. All references in the last few days have blamed ruling parties, asked for fast-track justice and time and again reminded me of pain and threat that I as a parent of a seven-year-old girl child survives with… Her battered body is recovered from a forest in January, and we host candle marches and forward WhatsApp messages in April – what about the numerous rapes in the last four months, is our state of oblivion acceptable to the numerous heinous crimes in the last three months? Why does this crime committed by eight animals in human garb make it to national news networks only in mid-April? Why was this piece of news not part of reporting violence from the valley? Were her pain and loss any less than Jyoti Singh? Was 16-year-old victim from Unnao, Uttar Pradesh any less of a daughter? Or for that matter, was the new-born girl child, cut out for a nameless death even before she suckled on life? – She was flushed down the toilet in a matter of hours after birth in Kerala. Why does all of this evoke delayed outrage and anger? Why are the marches milder than 2012? Why is our memory so short-lived? Well, the answer of to all of the above is that none of it was personal – personal to you and me, us, the office goers, the rooftop-watchers, the weekend movie-bingers, the drawing room confrontational pseudo-intellectuals… none of us! But it happened among us… and we have in a way accepted the way it has encountered us. We as Indians have failed our country-women. We could be brave-heart, fearless and among many things DEVIS, but the ones who aren’t aborted and killed after birth face discrimination, prejudice, violence, neglect, and disrespect. The life is everyday misery! We could be icons of our times with all the medals in sports and essential positions in politics and corporates, but we are also a country of an appallingly skewed sex ratio. We are a country where more women die because of dowry disputes, “injuries” – seldom cases of rape and domestic violence, in comparison to deaths during childbirth. The protests and marches hold out only hope but not a silver lining – every 21 minutes, an Indian woman is raped! It wasn’t my turn this time, it wasn’t you the last time, but we are vulnerable, unprotected and susceptible to the not so free ideals of our democratic society. The gruesome fact of the matter is the 16-year-old victim will try again to commit suicide, Asifa’s parents will never be able to rise from the grief that has left them paralyzed emotionally, Jyoti will never become a doctor and crime will be adjudged on religious grounds... When the outrage won't wax and wane in cruel casteism and social hierarchy. When Indian media sees a meaty story angle, and it is not tired of reporting violence, rapes, lynching, and torture all the time … we will feel that it is a story of “someone just like me.” We will act collectively when horrific graphic details of Asifa’s torture stirs up our conscience, and when our loyalties won’t adhere to our religion, group, region, etc.… We will veer from silence and sporadic indignation to hysteria! For me all of this manifests centuries of neglect, a life-long one! Deeply entrenched patriarchy, a social preference for sons over daughters, and a threat to the entire gender in a developing nation… Our politicians, leaders, are only being disingenuous when they speak publicly on strict laws and a fast-track prosecution! And all of this does not affect you and me on a personal level because we are fighting our daily battles. So, unless it hits you where it makes a difference or becomes a personal tragedy – we will still be perplexed yet inactive by the situations, keeping mum, discussing the trauma, at the least, and working on mundanes. #metoo movement will die a slow death because after all, we have to get back to our myopic lives! #justiceforasifa #acchedin #kathuaunnao #nirbhaya #rapesinindia #rapeculture #india 8:30PM, April 16, 2018 New Delhi